Thanksgiving

While it may seem strange to some that a prayer answered would come in the form of unemployment... it has taken me three months to recognize that I have been given a rare gift.  I can truly say that I am a different person.  Buddhists believe that life is suffering, and without it you may not obtain enlightenment.  This year I have been given a rare glimpse of what that means.

2012 began for me with a feeling of unrest.  I was suffering from anxiety which I blamed on many things; my husband, co-workers, strangers and my job.  The truth was, I had caged myself into a life I didn't want. 

I started this blog in January as a means by which I could record my thoughts and provide an outlet for my creativity.  I discovered it was a good way to look back and identify a pattern of behavior; a way to navigate and correct my course.  Uncover where I had lost my happiness.  

Well... sometimes life just needs to whack you on the back of the head to wake you up.  What's changed?  Oh... the light, the air blah, blah, blah... 

• I love my husband more deeply now than ever before.  I discovered what a rock he could be - and he gives really, really great advice and comfort.
• I discovered what supportive friends I have.  Taking me out to lunch, bolstering my confidence, lamenting my losses and celebrating my victories.  I learned from them, how to BE a friend.
• I discovered my "artsy, tartsy, rock 'n roll" girl inside.  I really like her more than that "yuppy, prissy, bitch" I had been.  Bring on the tough Tom boy... she's ready to kick some booty - but be super nice about it.
• My pace of life is a lot slower.  Things go wrong, I don't stress about them.  I deal with what's most important now... and sometimes the most important thing is getting down on the floor and playing with my dog.  Yes really that is an important thing to do.  Love something and be loved unconditionally. 
• I've learned prudence.  We used to fix things by throwing money at them.  Sometimes things need to left broken.  Sometimes things need to be fixed by your own sweat (and tears).  Sometimes you need to consult others to fix your problems.  The point is taking ownership of something requires you to be involved in the process - much like finding happiness in your life.  Get out the tool box, flashlight, glue and glitter - and fix it yourself when it's broken. 

PS:  I've found a great new job at Harley-Davidson.  I'm working in the advertising department, marketing bikes to women, African Americans, Hispanics, and youth.  I'm living life finally, without a cage.